Freedom from Control

Hello my ••friends••,

This week I felt incredibly > s t u c k <. I was stuck feeling a sense of a loss of control. I was irritable with people, my spouse, at my job, etc. Sometimes, I feel a sense of not even knowing why.

I thought long and hard about this. I realized that I feel helpless sometimes. This stems from not even realizing it at the time, but thinking I am not enough. I let people and situations dictate my mood. So how do we work on making this better? It is not an easy task, right?

First thing I personally had to do, was fully L E T  G O. I had to also slow down and see the root of why I feel this way sometimes. I needed to let go of the need to please. I needed to lay this before God first and foremost. And in head knowledge, I knew that was what I needed to do. But I feel that so easily, these same feelings come creeping back.

A mother in the faith, sat with me last night, held my warm hand close to her heart and told me that I needed to be aware of any thoughts, even remotely, that bring me sadness, doubt, dissatisfaction, feelings of inadequacy or irritability and anger. That which inflicts my soul, in being a child of God, I need to see for what it is… A  L I E. I need to fix my gaze on Him. I don’t know how many times I have to tell myself to “fix that gaze, Lauren”. I know I need to, and not in a striving way, but because I know that it is there and only there that I find the peace and joy that surpasses all understanding. Others, and even my own self, don’t understand this peace in relation to life’s circumstances.

I am the Vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him bears much fruit, for [otherwise] apart from Me [that is, cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing.- John 15:5

What is this vital union? An intimate and organic relationship that is constant in nature. I want to live at home with God and His words. His words are what bring healing, peace, joy, love and patience in those moments where you feel you cannot even muster up one ounce of a smile. His love is greater. I also learned that:

 3 For though we walk in the flesh [as mortal men], we are not carrying on our [spiritual] warfare according to the flesh and using the weapons of man. The weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood]. Our weapons are divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses [strongholds]. We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ. – 2Corinthians 10:3-5

The world doesn’t fight fair. Do we want to fight the same way? I don’t. We have to take every loose thought, emotion and impulse [captive]. We have to be ready to clear the ground of every obstruction and build lives of obedience into maturity. Take every thought captive. “Am I enough?” Is it a lie I am hearing or the truth? God says He died for me. That is the [truth]. The truth is I am enough for Him.  We are enough for him. You. Me. Here. Now. Just the way I am. Just the way you are.  Not me, as the perfect wife, nurse, friend, etc. Just me. Here. Present.

Beloved, you are enough. Take those thoughts captive. Don’t be so quick to jump to believing that everything we think or hear is true about us. Thoughts have the ability to ruin us or build us up. Our minds are powerful. Keep seeking the One and you will find how special and unique you are and how much you are worth. I Promise.


POEM FOR YOU BY: Joshua Bowen

When the rain begins to fall
And the winds begin to blow
You will not be swept away
You will continue to grow

For my vine reaches high towards the light
And my roots delve deep into truth
And overflowing joy and love
Are produced within my fruit

My Father is the gardener
He tends to every need
He prunes each branch that do bear fruit
And he severs every weed

Stay in the vine and produce much fruit
To glorify His name
Apart from the vine a branch is nothing
But fuel to feed the flame

He loved me as a tiny seed
He nurtured each blossoming plant
He helped me to mature and grow
From seed to fruit bearing branch


Speaking of the T R U E  V I N E, featured on today’s blog is an outfit I wore for a friend’s Birthday at the Bernardo Winery in San Diego, California. It was a spectacular day and we were surrounded by such sweet people. Below, I am wearing a dress made by Ezekiel. I found this at a second hand store for about $8.00, if you can believe it! The below dress is no longer in stock, but here is a similar one I loved from Nordstrom (actually probably even more trendy ;)). Shoes– I got off Amazon and are still available and are made by Qupid. The softest fur vest EVER!!– I bought from Target and was last season, given to me by my lovely mother-in-law as a gift, but a similar one can be found here.


Thanks so much for stopping by and being so loyal. I hope some of you can relate to that feeling of being stuck. Fix that gaze, loves.

Stay tuned next week as you will hear from a V E R Y special guest, 




2 thoughts on “Freedom from Control

  1. This. I needed to read this so bad! I struggle constantly with self doubt and constantly question if I am good enough wife, friend, daughter, sister, nurse, etc. I know all the negativity going on in my head is just a lie. God is so merciful and he has helped me a lot lately with this. Thank you for posting, lovely! 🙂


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